Verbal abuse is one of the most damaging abuse by far. The other day I was talking to my client who happens to be a therapist noticed that I started to scratch all over when I was confessing to her how I get anxiety when I’m about to pay a bill..and how I would drink a glass of wine when it came to figuring out my finances and writting checks. I told one other person years ago and they thought I was weird. My client told me I have PTS…something I knew all along …She would love to have me as a patient but she said she can’t because it’s unethical. I’m not angry or bitter at my past..since some have it worse than me. Years of being told that I was too stupid to manage my money manifested in my adult life…my story is NOT going to end like this. I will come up even if I do so crawling…I charged a client $300 on Monday for a color correction. It took me 6 hours and I’m still not finished with her.. (black box dye to blond) 😣 I’m learning to value my worth, my time and my hair experience. If this appointment came last year I would of charged the client $85 and I would of been resentful…and broke. It all starts with controlling one negative thought and ridding the thought out while forcing yourself to do something positive no matter how scared and anxious you are….I’m the product of a schizophrenic and bipolar mother…my mother is not at fault for her illness and I’m learning not to continue to be a victim no matter how anxious and shaky I get when I pay a bill.
I people get so upset with the things Kanye says. He’s mentally ill. I knew he was mentally ill before his breakdown..if you look closely at all his pictures he has a spaced out look. He’s never in the present it’s like his mind is always wandering. I can’t tell you exact details of the certain look I’m talking about but I can spot it miles away. You learn to be keen about certain looks and behaviours when someone is a little off. I speak from experience. My mom has Kanye look in her pictures. It makes me feel a little better that my mother is taking her medication and she’s not out doing wild interviews. When she was off in a manic stage is when she would speak things that didn’t make sense other than that she’s very practical and speaks common sense. Kim Kardashian has the money to cope..she can leave her kids behind and take off on a plane. I noticed whenever Kanye does or says something embarrassing she takes nude pictures and post it on social media. It’s her way to distract people and get them to talk about her instead of Kanye. It’s her coping mechanism. Mental illness is not partial you don’t know when it’s to be triggered and make a person snap.. but I do know having lots of money helps family to cope and deal. I personally don’t think him marrying Kim was a smart choice. She’s not grounded or deep. Her main concern is breaking the internet but at least he has a family to call his own since his mother passed away. ..the Kardashians are not a perfect family I don’t know of anyone that does have a perfect family but with the Kardashians at least he won’t be on the streets….Hopefully he continues to take his medications, if he doesn’t he’s just going to get worse and more embarrassing. Keep your stress levels under control and make sure you get enough sleep if you can’t sleep at night take naps.. m
I did my client today she’s 94 and is sharp as a whistle. Her skin looks like she’s in her 70’s. SOFT SKIN. she doesn’t have any mental issues and she looks like she can live another 10 years. I asked her what her secret was. She said she’s been taking vitamins for 50 years. Her hair is gray with beautiful wavy curls..she’s not thinning or balding. She doesn’t eat red meat she eats chicken and fish. Today she taught me to always eat my vegatables before I eat my meats because meat take very long to digest..if you eat your meat before your vegetables the meat blocks the vegatables and it just sits there and turns sour…eat your vegatables first so it can go through fast then eat your meat after.. She explained it to me in much better detail, but it all made sense. No wonder restaurants always give your your salads first before the main dish comes in. It explains a lot. I can’t wait to see Susan again..its was a very informative appointment today. Too bad I didn’t think to take a picture of her hair…awe…oh well..hopefully next time.
Today I bought Krill for the first time…I must say…my cold did not turn into a flu this year after I took 3 Emergency vitamin C packages a day for like three days. I bounced back quick, thank God!! I’m going to take the krill and keep you posted on it on how it turns out for me. Thank your for reading me blog I appreciate all of you..better get home now. G’NITE 😊
Attention don’t take krill for long periods of time or before any surgery.
I haven’t blogged about mental illness in a while. Some of you know that I was raised by a schizophrenic bipolar mother. I don’t share my stories for sympathy but to let others know that you are not alone. .I feel you. I understand. I held back from blogging so much about it because one people say don’t talk about your past and two I notice I still cringe every once in a while when I remember an experience. I don’t know if it’s ever possible to ever heal completely in this system. I had an amazing therapist but I couldn’t keep up with the $140 fee every two weeks. I went to her for 7 months and my thoughts and patterns started to change for the better…but ain’t no body got $140 for therapy when I have bills to pay😆 I want to bring awareness of what verbal abuse can do to someone. Verbal abuse is by far more psychological damaging than physical at least for me it is. When people are mentally ill they are more prone to demon control because they don’t have all their senses. They become a complete different person, monster like at times. From the time I could remember my mother would always tell me that I was too stupid and dumb to manage or handle money. She convinced me that only she could handle money. I started working since I was 10 or younger baby sitting kids…and haven’t stopped woring since. Being a workaholic is a form of PTS…it becomes your escape. The point I’m trying to make that her yelling and screaming that I was too stupid growing up has affected me to not make good choices with money. I’m pretty muched healed I don’t have anger or resentment towards my mother..I haven’t had a vacation in 30 years. I don’t have a pension, no retirement money, nothing…I’ve made so much money in my lifetime but don’t have anything to show for it except my new salon. I would make money and sabotage myself into spending it because I was brainwashed into thinking that I wasn’t worth keeping it and I would spend it. Something happened to me when I turned 50 last month. A light bulb came on!! I thought to myself in 10 years I’ll be 60!! I’m not a spring chicken!! I won’t able to work like a mule, something has to change!!! My friends, clients have been an amazing support system to push me to take vacations to change the way I speak. They catch me slipping and correct me when I start to talk negative and they tell me “Evy you can do it, take vacations”!! They buy me lunch, buy me vitamins, decorate my salon and genuinely care for me. I’m blogging about this here because I made it a point to not talk about my personal life with clients anymore. I’m working very hard at paying attention to what comes out of my mouth when I speak about myself, so far I notice changes❤ I started saving. I haven’t touched a dime from my savings. I’ve been watching youtube videos on marketing and networking by a friend of mine… Kristoffer Thompson..he takes his time to respond and answer my questions. I’m slowly erasing negative thoughts one day at a time. My health has improved since I started drinking alkaline water. ..I lost 4 pounds ❤😉👍❤ …I’m greatful to Jehovah for my friends at the kingdom hall, my doctors, my clients and wordpress. WordPress has become my therapeutic get away spot…It’s unfortunate that I was raised in a very dysfunctional home but it made me who I am today. I love people and SOME people love me😆 …..
As sick as my mother was she was still able to instill some morals in me as a child. Granted I went through a rebellious stage most of my life but I came back to my moral foundation that she taught me…. One day I’m going to blow up big, take vacations get my hair done by one of them expensive Instagram stylist and weigh 125 pounds. I got this, I know I can do it because I said I could ❤😎😉
Did I tell you about the time she jumped on top of the living room table and started jumping up and down screaming..out the top of her lungs? Thank goodness it was good hard wood. She didnt break it. …I’ll tell you that story another time..hehe..
I decided to blog and post pictures after my mother called and just woke me up from much needed sleep. I’m livid. I’m trying to apply Christian principles about controlling the temper. One of my clients texted me and cancelled her appointment today. She told me that her back was hurting…I asked her if she was stressed. My back too has been hurting the past month with all the car, bank and moving to a new shop drama. She went to tell me that living with a mentally ill person is draining. Her long time boyfriend is bipolar. I feel her pain!!! You all know my mother is not only bipolar she is schizophrenic too. Thank goodness for medication! …Even with the medication she gets neurotic at times. She will call or text me relentlessly about a matter stressed out. Her stress rubs off on me. I tell you you have to have God in your life to cope and deal with these types of people or the stress will kill you. Mentally ill people cause their loved ones an early death. If you can avoid living with them save yourself your sanity. Keep in touch visit them but limit your association. I’m so glad my mother cant drive anymore and she doesn’t know where my new salon location is. I dont have that monkey on my back worried that she is going to show up unexpectedly and do something embarrassing in front of my clients. Those days are over, hallelujah!! Instead of picking up an alcoholic drink to ease the tension or flipping out I have decided to blog. You and only you can decide how you are going to handle dissapontments in life. You cannot pick and choose your parents but you can choose how to cope and deal with the negative vibes of mental illness You are the only person that can rescue yourself. No one is going to rescue you from your anger, hurt, and the scars from embarrassing situations, once you reaize that you and only you is in control of your happiness you will be able to endure your sick loved one. No husband, wife or friend is going to understand the damaging effects the disturbing effects of mental illness unles they have been a victim of it. I’m not blogging to get sympathy or to make you dislike my mother. I’m blogging about it so that if you are dealing with this issue you take comfort in knowing that you are NOT alone. I understand you, trust me I do. It’s better to blog than to keep talking about the same matter to people that dont have a clue about how you feel..sometimes the negative feed back you get from humans is worse than the actual problem. I’m now wide awake I cant sleep now. I’m going to get up take a shower pray and clean up until who knows when…ugh😐
So much has happened since I posted last. I’ve been so busy with work other stuff and trying to manage all my other social media accounts for my marketing. I kept telling myself “Oh this would be perfect for WordPress! Then I get too tired to blog and fall asleep. I did this updo today but I did her haircolor about a month
ago..I did a wetset on her, took the rollers out smoothed her edges with the flatiron and then did a French twist on her…funny the last time she came to the shop one of my clients was acting very mean and rude to my coworkers and the girl in the picture on top. My client showed up 13 min early an snapped when she saw her on my chair. To cut the story short she told me the only reason she came to the shop was for me because she doesn’t like a Budah hairsalon…she ruined everyone’s vibe and was nagging the whole entire time she was there. I finally had it and I told her not to ever come back again because I did not appreciate how rude she was towards my coworkers and client. I can tolerate people snapping at me from time to time but even then I’m not a punching bag. When I told her not to come back she told me that the reason why she left her last hairstylist was because of her conspiracy theories. I was like huh? Then it hit me. She has mental problems. I felt bad when she left. I realized her conspiracy comment was a red flag she needed medication. There is more to the story buy I’m exhausted its 1:26am…I will try and finish the rest tomorrow. ZzzzzzzZ😴zzzzzzz😴Zzz
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Sorry my last quote had typos.
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Haven’t had time to post hair pictures or blog like I use too. I wanted to leave a quote I made up today before I went to bed. Whenever I get running thoughts in my mind that make sense I will make a quote out of it.☺
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Sorry I haven’t been around much. I’ve been sucked up by Kanye’s twitter rants. He is rippin at the seam. I don’t know if his loved ones are aware that his public meltdowns are a sign of mental illness. In one tweet he makes sense and on the other he’s going off and calling himself the greatest of all time. It’s good salon topic but put all the laughs aside..I’m concerned for him. Sounds like he has some sort of schizophrenia going on, but his fans think he’s a modern day hero. They egg him on and it’s making him worse.. he needs prayers, a good psychiatrist, and medication…I’m so beat today. Just want to sleep all day but I have to work later and figure when I can take time off work to get copies of my marriage license for my passport. Can you believe I’m still dealing with that. Can a sister just take a vacation in peace. Good grief!!!…😴😴😴😴😴😴
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