Mental illness

I haven’t blogged about mental illness in a while. Some of you know that I was raised by a schizophrenic bipolar mother. I don’t share my stories for sympathy but to let others know that you are not alone. .I feel you. I understand. I held back from blogging so much about it because one people say don’t talk about your past and two I notice I still cringe every once in a while when I remember an experience. I don’t know if it’s ever possible to ever heal completely in this system. I had an amazing therapist but I couldn’t keep up with the $140 fee every two weeks. I went to her for 7 months and my thoughts and patterns started to change for the better…but ain’t no body got $140 for therapy when I have bills to pay😆 I want to bring awareness of what verbal abuse can do to someone. Verbal abuse is by far more psychological damaging than physical at least for me it is. When people are mentally ill they are more prone to demon control because they don’t have all their senses. They become a complete different person, monster like at times. From the time I could remember my mother would always tell me that I was too stupid and dumb to manage or handle money. She convinced me that only she could handle money. I started working since I was 10 or younger baby sitting kids…and haven’t stopped woring since. Being a workaholic is a form of PTS…it becomes your escape. The point I’m trying to make that her yelling and screaming that I was too stupid growing up has affected me to not make good choices with money. I’m pretty muched healed I don’t have anger or resentment towards my mother..I haven’t had a vacation in 30 years. I don’t have a pension, no retirement money, nothing…I’ve made so much money in my lifetime but don’t have anything to show for it except my new salon. I would make money and sabotage myself into spending it because I was brainwashed into thinking that I wasn’t worth keeping it and I would spend it. Something happened to me when I turned 50 last month. A light bulb came on!! I thought to myself in 10 years I’ll be 60!! I’m not a spring chicken!! I won’t able to work like a mule, something has to change!!! My friends, clients have been an amazing support system to push me to take vacations to change the way I speak. They catch me slipping and correct me when I start to talk negative and they tell me “Evy you can do it, take vacations”!! They buy me lunch, buy me vitamins, decorate my salon and genuinely care for me. I’m blogging about this here because I made it a point to not talk about my personal life with clients anymore. I’m working very hard at paying attention to what comes out of my mouth when I speak about myself, so far I notice changes❤ I started saving. I haven’t touched a dime from my savings. I’ve been watching youtube videos on marketing and networking by a friend of mine… Kristoffer Thompson..he takes his time to respond and answer my questions. I’m slowly erasing negative thoughts one day at a time. My health has improved since I started drinking alkaline water. ..I lost 4 pounds ❤😉👍❤ …I’m greatful to Jehovah for my friends at the kingdom hall, my doctors, my clients and wordpress. WordPress has become my therapeutic get away spot…It’s unfortunate that I was raised in a very dysfunctional home but it made me who I am today. I love people and SOME people love me😆 …..

As sick as my mother was she was still able to instill some morals in me as a child. Granted I went through a rebellious stage most of my life but I came back to my moral foundation that she taught me…. One day I’m going to blow up big, take vacations get my hair done by one of them expensive Instagram stylist and weigh 125 pounds. I got this, I know I can do it because I said I could ❤😎😉

Did I tell you about the time she jumped on top of the living room table and started jumping up and down screaming..out the top of her lungs? Thank goodness it was good hard wood. She didnt break it. …I’ll tell you that story another time..hehe..

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Only you

I decided to blog  and post pictures after my mother called and just woke me up from much needed sleep. I’m livid. I’m trying to apply Christian principles about controlling the temper. One of my clients texted me and cancelled her appointment today. She told me that her back was hurting…I asked her if she was stressed. My back too has been hurting the past month with all the car, bank and moving  to a new shop drama. She went to tell me that living with a mentally ill person is draining.  Her long time boyfriend is bipolar. I feel her pain!!! You all know my mother is not only bipolar she is schizophrenic too. Thank goodness for medication! …Even with the medication she gets neurotic at times.  She will call or text me relentlessly about a matter stressed out.  Her stress rubs off on me. I tell you you have to have God in your life to cope and deal with these types of people or the stress will kill you. Mentally ill people cause their loved ones an early death. If you can avoid living with them save yourself your sanity. Keep in touch visit them but limit your association. I’m so glad my mother cant drive anymore and she doesn’t know where my new salon location is. I dont have that monkey on my back worried that she is going to show up unexpectedly and do something embarrassing in front of my clients. Those days are over, hallelujah!! Instead of picking up an alcoholic drink to ease the tension or flipping out I have decided to blog. You and only you can decide how you are going to handle dissapontments in life. You cannot pick and choose your parents but you can choose how to cope and deal with the negative vibes of mental illness You are the only person that can rescue yourself. No one is going to rescue you from your anger, hurt, and the scars from embarrassing situations, once you reaize that you and only you is in control of your happiness you will be able to endure your sick loved one. No husband, wife or friend is going to understand the damaging effects the  disturbing effects of mental illness unles they have been a victim of it. I’m not blogging to get sympathy or to make you dislike my mother.  I’m blogging about it so that if you are dealing with this issue you take comfort in knowing that you are NOT alone.  I understand you, trust me I do. It’s better to blog than to keep talking about the same matter to people that dont have a clue about how you feel..sometimes the negative feed back you get from humans is worse than the actual problem. I’m now wide awake I cant sleep now. I’m going to get up take a shower pray and clean up until who knows when…ugh😐

So much

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So much has happened since I posted last. I’ve been so busy with work  other stuff and trying to manage all my other social media accounts for my marketing. I kept telling myself “Oh this would be perfect for WordPress! Then I get too tired to blog and fall asleep. I did this updo today but I did her haircolor about a month ago..I did a wetset on her, took the rollers out smoothed her edges with the flatiron and then did a French twist on her…funny the last time she came to the shop one of my clients was acting very mean and rude to my coworkers and the girl in the picture on top. My client showed up 13 min early an snapped when she saw her on my chair. To cut the story short she told me the only reason she came to the shop was for me because she doesn’t like a Budah hairsalon…she ruined everyone’s vibe and was nagging the whole entire time she was there. I finally had it  and I told her not to ever come back again because I did not appreciate how rude she was towards my coworkers and client. I can tolerate people snapping at me from time to time but even then I’m not a punching bag. When I told her not to come back she told me that the reason why she left her last hairstylist was because of her conspiracy theories. I was like huh? Then it hit me. She has mental problems. I felt bad when she left. I realized her conspiracy comment was a red flag she needed medication. There is more to the story buy I’m exhausted its 1:26am…I will try and finish the rest tomorrow. ZzzzzzzZ😴zzzzzzz😴Zzz

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Evy’s quotes

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Haven’t had time to post hair pictures or blog like  I use too. I wanted to leave a quote I made up today before  I went  to bed. Whenever I get running  thoughts in my mind that make sense I will make a quote out of it.☺

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Eve’s quotes

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Sorry I haven’t been around much. I’ve been sucked up by Kanye’s twitter rants. He is rippin  at the seam. I don’t know if his loved ones are aware that his public meltdowns are a sign of mental  illness. In one tweet he makes sense and on the other he’s going off and  calling himself the greatest of all time.  It’s good salon topic but put all the laughs aside..I’m concerned  for him. Sounds like he has some sort of schizophrenia  going on, but his fans think he’s a modern day hero. They egg him on and it’s making him worse.. he needs prayers, a good psychiatrist, and medication…I’m so beat today. Just want to sleep all day but I have to work later and figure when I can take time off work  to get copies of my marriage license for my passport. Can you believe I’m still dealing with that. Can a sister just take a vacation in peace.  Good grief!!!…😴😴😴😴😴😴

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Daily

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Read this daily before you get your day started. Applying  self control helps  alot. Be the captain  of your emotions and good  things will come your way… G’nite

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Twitter

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I laugh my eyes out reading folks twitter comments about Kanye. I was laughing  so hard my mom had to check up on me. Ending your day with laughter is the best way to end your crappy day. Today was one of them days for me. I think I’m done accepting new clients. I’m cool with the ones I have. On the serious  side I’m convinced Kanye needs help.  He’s getting worse.  He thinks  his name should be in the Bible. His rant episodes are getting  worse and he doesn’t make sense when he talks.  I think Kim  is so focused  on her selfies she’s not paying attention to her hubby’s mental health. #salontalk

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Word

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On point. You can loose your mind if you keep stepping out of your mental frame. Your mind is very complexed and you can literally make your own self nuts. Focus on the here and now, on the minute and hour. Do the best that you can now and it will reap goodness in the future. Less gray hairs too..LOL!!

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