Sometime last year a horrific crime was committed by one of the handy men in the plaza where I work. Whenever my chair broke or needed oil he would come and check it. He was always there when needed. He never complained. Always looked like a happy go lucky guy.
One day he asked me if I knew someone who could help take care of his mother. She lived with him. She had Alzheimer. I was so impressed to hear of a man taking care of his mother, I kept praising him for doing such an honorable act. I asked for his number and tried to get my friend to help take care if his mom..but she had already found another old lady to take care of.
Non of us knew that he has depressed. He would get his hair cut by the owner of the shop and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. His brothers dumped all his mother’s responsibility on him, he was torn between pleasing his wife and taking care of his mother. The stress got to him. He mixed his medications with alcohol. He fell off the wagon. He stabbed his mother repeatedly in the back of her head, neck and back. He snapped. He killed his mother. He thought she was a monster coming after him He was the nicest guy. People were shocked to see his story in the news paper..that only lasted maybe 2 weeks. Everyone has gone on with their lives. His name doesn’t come up unless I bring him up.
Let’s stop telling little boys and men not to cry and stop telling them to man up and suck it up.. Men have feelings, suffer from depression, and take on too much stress. I wish I had known he was depressed ready to snap, maybe I could of done more. I tried. He’s in a mental hospital and his mother is 6ft under. Never underestimate a person’s smile. You don’t know how or what they are suffering. Be extra kind to people, listen and show concern. My chair needs to be fixed. But I’ll just save for a new one. You learn not to sweat the small stuff. There are more folks in emotional pain than me. I can always get a chair but you can’t make up missed opportunities to extend yourself.