Just because

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I took this picture of myself last year. Many thoughts were going through my mind like they always do. I’m OVER analytical.. My discerning friends know when I’m drowing myself in a cup of water. I don’t know if it has anything to do with my up bringing, I sure don’t like it. I suffer from anxiety and irritability people don’t know that. I can hide things very well even though. I think I’m a awesome actress😜 I can be venting and acting dramatic to my friends about something.. But deep inside my mind is venting about something completely different than what I’m telling them. I find myself driving and I see my hands shaking. I’m so hyper people don’t notice me like that. Is it post traumatic stress? I’ve been through a lot. I thought I was going to be blogging more about my mother’s schizophrenia and bipolar and how its affected my career and romantic relationships but I don’t…I guess because I can talk about it and not cringe like I use to so doesn’t seem worth writing about.. I like to write things that is moving my heart at the moment. Her illness doesn’t move me anymore. I’m strong. Not phased.   I’m so over what crazy things she’s done. She’s on some good medication and doesnt even talk or act like the same monster I knew back in the day. Now you see I can vent and talk about my mom but no body ever dare say anything disrespectul about her. Were going to fight…Nobody better mess with my momma..we going to fight:)

My life is not perfect. ..and it will not be in this system. All I can do is try and laugh my way through humor. Humor has saved me, but most of all  my God Jehovah has saved me from the madness. Had I not come back to him I would be somewhere in some rehab, or at some  AA meeting hugging strangers ..or in prison for hurting someone. He’s taught me how to have self control. He’s taught me that I am not a victim but that I’m a funny warrior. My mother’s illness  has affected  my sibblings and I but I must say we are strong people. I don’t think the average person would be able to live to and survive her craziness. Did I tell you about the time  she left my lil brother and I at Venice Beach and we had to figure out a way home with no money. My brother and his friend had to steal bikes,  it took them like 8 hours or more to get home because they got lost and ended up in Long beach..they had a CRAZY adventure going through the hoods of California.. When we have family gatherings we reminisce about stuff…we just laugh our heads off. Well gotta get ready for work.. Sorry I got carried away typing.. But isn’t that what blogs are for..LOL!! Bye..(waves)

Blogging just because💝😂😜

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Life would be great

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This world would be a better place if grown adults would stop playing mysterious games. No body has time to try and figure you out. Don’t treat someone like an option because your ego flies to the max when you know your liked..remember..feelings dont last forever…we constantly change. Its not that you don’t know what you have till its gone, Its you thought what you had would NEVER leave. Dont get it twisted. Some folks get turned off very easily when they sense they are being played like a violin. If you loose a good thing. You may not EVER get it back..be smart. Appreciate  that good man or woman who is taking chances humiliating themselves to get your interest. You don’t know the courage that it took for someone to tell you that they like you. You don’t know the distress their in waiting for a response you don’t know any of that because your too busy thinking your all that. Remember pride is before crash don’t wreck yourself.

Experiment

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I went to Emperors College in Santa Monica yesterday to get treated for some health issues I have. I’ve tried accuputure before about 12 years ago and it helped me so much. This time around they asked me to change my eating habits. You know I’m a crack head when it comes to sweets. I can eat a Snickers bar everyday if I could.

The work is done by students with teachers coaching them. I trust acupuncture students, they work very hard at being perfectionist at the collage.. I was given some Chinese herbs and told not to drink alcohol, cut sugar and white breads out of my diet. I did not go there to loose weight but my diet was messing me health up. Now I am being cured on a bunch of things at the same time. This year its all about me..loving and taking care of me. The greatest love affair you can have its with yourself.  No one is going to rescue you. You have to rescue you. The more you focus on yourself (not in a narcissist selfish way) the more you attract good things. The one person you like who’s been taking your for granted will call or text you when he or she wakes up and realizes that they are not
all that anymore, you get more respect, you feel better, positive choices can help your buisness, your self esteem goes up, you have something different to talk about instead of your repeated drama. If you want something done don’t wait till next month next year, start working towards your goals now!! Take baby steps but keep going.. Life with direct you.

Today is my first day of my experimentation on my no alcohol, sugar and white foods diet. The doctor said I will loose weight without going to the gym. He gave me two months to loose 20 pounds. I have to listen to him. I don’t have money to be throwing away and the drive from LA to Santa Monica is a chaotic stressful one, where is everyone driving too?! Good grief! LOL

I did not plan out my meals today..I have to figure it out as I go along. I will keep you posted on my progress okah,💝😂

Last year

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I found this old picture on my Instagram of a makeover I did. I think she was one of my first models I used to jump start my drive for becoming  an amazing makeup artist. I’m not amazing. Its my goal to be one day😜

I have two small makeup cases that need reviving. Makeup is very expensive career. Now I understand why they charge so much..you could never have too much makeup. People have different texture skin and tone faces..you want your clients to look human not like Ronald McDonald the  clown. I compromise..I mix lipstick colors together. I try to get creative with the small makup collection  I have. One day I will have a big suitcase.

Well I will see you lovely people later…I have to tend to my mom’s cat Juliet…she is screaming in pain with a bad tooth ache..we’ve been trying to get her to a vet..but they gave us the run around that we can’t take her unless we show them the credit insurance card. Can’t they call the dang 800 number?!! Such lazy people! Hopefully the insurance card will be in the mailbox tomorrow. We don’t come from money and vets cost a arm and leg. I can’t wait for this system to be over with. I’m so over the insurance greed.  It makes me sick! Poor Juliet:((

Don’t know why

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I stopped looking at wedding rings 7 years ago ..I don’t even turn my head to look at them at the jewelry store. They don’t impressed me anymore..after a bad break up with my fiance when he ran off with a BIG fat chick that reminded of the movie Norbit I got turned off with the whole marriage thing. I forgave him I can talk about it and not cringe anymore. I honestly wish him all the best.. (She dumped him) anyhoo..this is the first ring that has caught my eye to even post about it. Does that mean I’m ready for marriage? Who knows..if you want something you have to work for it, right now I’m working on myself. Let the chips fall where they may. The better you are in the inside and out. The better chance you will attract what you want. If I hope to be married on day I have to work towards that goal… Im taking baby steps by starting a visualization board like the book *The Secret* said. Maybe I can use WordPress as my board what do you all think?😆👊💝🙌

Don’t  know why I posted this, but something inside compelled me too…how strange is that.

Thirsty women

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I understand we live in a society where people march to their own drum. Its all about me me me me me..they do anything to get what they want even if it means dissing their own selves. Ladies..less is more. You can’t have your boobs all out, short mini skirts and stripper shoes when you go out and expect men to respect you. I don’t agree with sexual harassment.. But some things are just common sense. Its like sitting in a lion’s den with a piece of stake then act surprised when the lion comes after you…ummmm duh. I also understand that men are few there is more of us than them..and so the competition is fierce.  You will feel better about yourself if you dress like a lady and win him over with your charm, culinary skills, your personality.. Etc…no need to show your ashy boney knees.
Show a little not too much. I’ve spoken to men who tell me its stressful going on a date with a girl over exposed…they feel like they have to be ready for a fight. They get anxious that some disrespectful guy is going to say something to you and he will have to step in and man up. Think about the whole picture use discernment.. Its not just about exposing it all..its about a whole bunch of other stuff.

A catastrophe

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And so Susie comes in ..my high school guinea pig one of my first clients. I tried something different today. I did her balayage highlites while her roots were processing to kill some time. It all turns out well at the end but it was a castasthrope at the shampoo bowl..yikes!!! The highlights did not lift enough at the roots because I applied it on top of the color to make it look more natural…okay no big deal I can always add more highlites right….well thats not the end of it. I gave her a PM shines hairglosser by Paul Mitchell to tone her hair and make it shinny and soft…I used the glosser named *Titanium* it looked so pretty on the color chart…well her hair came out purple like Barney..a pretty violet shade.. I panicked a lil bit without letting her know. I used a clarying shampoo..then I did a shampoo cap..(bleach mixed with shampoo and peroxide) to try and pull Barney out. I left it on for 5 min…phew!! I told her that I was making her highlights lighter because it did not lift enough. She never questions me which makes my life easier…she said: “Okay Evy…and just laid back in the shampoo bowl. She never saw her Barney hair because she was laying at the shampoo bowl …hehe…..well this is how it turned out. Tada!!! She loved it!!! Next time I will dilute the PM Shines glosser with clear.

Close call..LOL😜😂😆…yikes!

Emo hair

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I forgot to post this. I did this last week. Its emo hair..where its real choppy and looks like a 80s mullet. I did a softer version cut. You know those Kids who look depressed wearing all black with piercings on their face. Well I don’t want Ashley to look depressed. And I won’t allow her to mess up her pretty face with holes in it. I know its the trend but you have to think about your face 10 years from now…with that said and done. Maybe you can get some kind of fake piercing? Anyhoo back to the hair…I chopped it all up like she asked me too but kept her bangs long. I did a balayage bleach and color job on her as well. Her hair was starting to look dull and mousy and so I revamped it.

Mint

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I did this mint colored ombre last year. She has really nice thick hair. I’ve changed it up since then. Her roots are darker now and her ends are more golden. I’m fortunate that she is so opened minded for me to try new things on her. I love that💖

Blah

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Haven’t been myself in the past week feeling blah. .be careful what you ask for you might get it then realize its nothing you thought it was.  I have things to say but my thoughts are smashed together like potatoes. Self improvement in the inside its what keeps me focused. I’m constantly trying to be and act like a better person. So if if you think you know me you really don’t because that was yesterday.

One thing I learned this week is to keep your circle of friends real small two or three the most. Venting to everyone is not a good idea. At the end of the day some folks don’t really care what your going through as long as your going through something. You can see the disappointed in some their face when you tell them everything is fine. We cannot be everything to everyone we fail people and they fail us. That is where self love comes in. Take time to smell the roses, buy that CD you’ve been wanting to get, take a day off work and get mental break, stay in bed 45 min or more and do nothing, don’t always run to answer your phone. Stay in silence and listen to your inner thoughts and meditate on your discernment of situations, meditate on your GUT feelings about things. We know the answers we are just looking for reasurrance. The question is what are you going into do when you get  the answer? Are you going to act on wisdom or take the challenge and try to fit a camel in a neelde’s eye? Is everything of value worth fighting for? Why does everything have to be a fight? Why can’t things run smooth. Like when you drive and you pass 4 green lights without interruptions?

Hummm decisions decisions decisions…I’m going to stick my smashed potato mind and go back under the covers and hide here for a few more hours…..blah…..